My name is Tony Ford, and I am a “Broken Leader” and an “Overcomer.”
Please don’t be confused. I am totally fine with my abilities to succeed – I’m just broken in a few places.
Starting 20 years ago, since a boating accident on Lake Benbrook, I have received two artificial spinal discs, an artificial knee, and a triple spinal fusion. If it sounds like this sort of damage might be a little painful, yes, it was. More than that, it totally re-arranged my abilities and priorities, especially when it came to leading my companies.
If you own or lead your own company and have gone through this type of trauma or supported a loved one who has, you know exactly what I am talking about. It turns your world upside-down.
Having a front-row seat in this crazy roller-coaster ride for the past two decades has taught me many lessons about myself, how to cope and overcome, and how wonderful others can be when given a chance to help. Now, I would like to share some of these “lessons learned” in the hope that it will help you:
Don’t “hide”: It confuses your people. They internalize how you have changed and think they are doing something wrong. Gently share your struggle and reassure them of your trust in them and your faith that by working together, the company will succeed.
Do surround yourself with trusted supporters: These are people in and out of your business who can fully appreciate your struggle and support you using their particular skill-set. It only takes a few of these special people to keep you moving forward with confidence.
Don’t feel guilty: No matter what the circumstances are that started your physical, emotional or spiritual pain, it is real and takes your full and undivided attention. Guilt is a Band-Aid for feeling sorry for yourself, and it does nothing to help you successfully embrace future opportunities.
Do account for your pain: Do not set unrealistic goals for yourself that will only result in an ongoing feeling of inadequacy. Pain in all of its forms requires a substantial commitment to be overcome, but it takes time and lots of extra effort. It is your “new normal” at least for a season. Embrace it; learn from it, and eventually you will be able to make up for some of your lost abilities.
Don’t compare yourself to others: They have their own battles to fight just like you.
Do become an example for others: Let’s face it; leading a company is hard on a good day. But when you are hurting and broken, there are no “good days,” only days with more or less pain and aggravation. That said, when we overcome our pain and perform our duties at a high level, it sets a tremendous standard of excellence for our people to emulate.
Don’t give up: During one of my hospital stays, I met a woman who was there to have her sixth joint replacement surgery. As I sat by her bed moments before she was wheeled into the operating room, she grabbed my hand, looked me in the eye and said, “Tony, hopelessness is always premature!” For the past 20 years, I have embraced her words of wisdom.
During my journey through overcoming pain and disability, my constant companion Jane (my wife of 37 years) has been by my side encouraging me, praying for me and lifting my heart.
It is my practice to have her read every article I write before I send it to my editor. When I showed her these ideas, her comment was, “Aren’t you afraid that people will read this and be afraid to work with your new company?” This is a company called Success Fort Worth.
My reply was simple: “Maybe some folks will be concerned about my ability to help them, but I hope that most will understand that I don’t take on projects I can’t succeed at.” Consequently, our last six companies have done very well.
If you are a company owner or C-level manager who is struggling through pain while trying to fulfill your obligations as a leader, I invite you to contact me. I will be happy to visit with you on the phone or face-to-face and share some of the work-arounds I have discovered to get the job done. Till then, just know that you are in my prayers.